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Volume 3 Shandong Thief Chapter 179 Suicide

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    Life is like a box of chocolates, you always know what the next piece will taste like.  When I was in the countryside, I didn¡¯t know that I would be admitted to a third-rate university in Shanghai.  In order to come to school, I almost spent all my parents' life savings.  When I went to college, I would not have known that Ma Xiaodan was not my true love, but that Sun Xiaoqing was the one who was waiting for me.  After I established myself in Shanghai, I had no idea that one day I would become a prisoner, and I never thought that Sun Xiaoqing would leave me again, taking Benben away from me I don¡¯t know why she left, and I don¡¯t want to know.  There is only one reason for her leaving. I am not strong enough, I cannot be her backing, I cannot protect her.  I don¡¯t know how I got back to the cell, and I don¡¯t know how I spent the next week.  I only remember that I was like a piece of wood, staying in this world.  Sun Xiaoqing's hair is carried in my pocket, like a treasure.  I wander back and forth in prison every day, like a ghost?  More like a zombie, the accurate description should be a lonely soul.  I am like an abandoned soul, with no support and no soul, just wandering in the world.  Wang Yingli¡¯s words rang in my ears over and over again. I stayed up all night, and I didn¡¯t eat every day.  I was sitting in the cell, and no matter who came or who spoke, I couldn't hear me.  Sun Xiaoqing is my heart, I can't live without her, I feel uncomfortable, my chest is tight, I am worse than a dog.  At night I lay on the ground, laughing, nameless laughter.  During the day, I stood in the yard of the detention center, looking at the blue sky, and sometimes I would say: "There are so many stars." That was because I was hungry, but in the face of the sweet and delicious food, I didn't eat a bite.  I am not escaping, nor will I escape.  I'm just waiting, looking forward to the moment of awakening.  Wang Yingli later visited me twice. When I didn't see her, the director brought her in and stood in the distance, watching my behavior from a distance.  Wang Yingli's eyes were full of tears, and she secretly wiped them away when the director was not paying attention.  Sun Xiaoqing is my soul. I won¡¯t think about it without her.  Shanghai in summer has become a paradise for heavy rain.  It was a rainy night, and I got up late at night.  They did not dare to put anklets and handcuffs on me because they were afraid that I would commit suicide.  In fact, I have been engaging in self-harm frequently these past two days.  Late at night, I got up from the bed, rushed to my roommate's bed, strangled his neck, and with a click, he died in my hands.  I rushed to another person's bed, grabbed his neck, and with another click, I broke the other person's neck.  My roommates all woke up and they beat me one after another.  I am no longer the boss in this prison, I am a devil. For their own lives, they smashed their fists on my head, one punch after another.  The prison guard woke up and sounded the emergency alarm. A dozen police officers rushed to the front of our prison cell, opened the cell door, picked me up, and took me outside.  A bolt of lightning fell on the earth, making the night look like day.  They dragged me around the compound, and I knew they were going to send me to a special cell where there would be sponges everywhere and I wouldn¡¯t die there.  And when it's meal time, they will give me an injection of nutritional energy, so I don't have to eat.  They want me alive because they will be punished if I die.  The rain fell on me, and I suddenly broke away from their shackles and ran into the rain, laughing like a madman.  Lightning came down again and hit a tree in the yard. Everyone was startled.  But I raised my middle finger to the sky, and I cursed him angrily: "For God's sake, I am your ancestor. I am your mother. For God's sake, I am your godfather." My dirty curses resounded throughout the whole room.  In the detention center, all the guards were standing there looking at me, and all the prisoners were listening to me.  I scolded, then I cried, then I laughed.  I cried and laughed and went crazy.  I started to recite poems, looked up to the sky and laughed loudly and went out. I am not a Penghao person.  I started to sing, the smoke was rising in the mountains and rivers, the dragon flag was rolling in the north, the horse was neighing, the sword air was like frost, my heart was like the vast water of the Yellow River, who could resist in twenty years, the madness of hatred, the long sword, how many brothers and sisters, loyal souls buried in the bones, how can I cherish the hundred in this country?  I will die to serve my country Finally, I rushed to the tree trunk next to me, using all my strength My head hurt, my vision went dark, and I fainted in the rain.  I committed suicide because I had a craniotomy on my brain just a month ago.  If you do this now, your old and new injuries will relapse, and you will be on the verge of death immediately, trembling all over.  The prison guards put me in the car used to escort prisoners in the detention center and sent me to the Shanghai First Armed Police Hospital.  The same director from last time performed the surgery on me and cut open my skull again.  This time, the director saw a darkness That endless darkness almost covered everything I saw.?¡¯s gaze.  ¡­ ¡­ After ten hours of surgery, I was pushed out of the operating room.  My current situation is not stable, but as soon as I was pushed out, a group of people planted a chip on my arm.  This is a GPS satellite positioning chip that is implanted under the skin and cannot be removed unless the flesh is cut out.  Three days later, I woke up.  The director said I needed to stay in the hospital for two days before I could go back to the detention center.  There are also doctors in the detention center. When the time comes, I can just let the doctors in the detention center continue to treat me.  I was lying on the hospital bed, not going crazy anymore, but looking out the window with a smile on my face. That little smile was so charming.  ¡°The night I committed suicide, Wang Yingli learned about my situation.  At that time, Wang Yingli was about to come to the hospital to see me. She made a fuss in the corridor of the hospital for a long time, but the police refused to let her see me.  Finally, Shen Guoqiang spoke and waited until my situation stabilized before letting her see me.  Wang Yingli had no choice but to go back. Now that the situation had stabilized, Wang Yingli hurried to the hospital.  Wang Yingli sat next to my hospital bed, and there were only two of us in the room.  But I knew there was a recorder nearby and there were cameras in the ward.  Wang Yingli looked at me lying on the hospital bed looking like an idiot and grabbed my hand. Tears couldn't stop flowing from her eyes.  The Queen, who had never cried before, was crying like a resentful woman after learning that her husband was going to the execution ground.  Xia Wanyu took my hand and rubbed it carefully. My hand with the diaphragm was also rubbing her slender hand. She grinned and said something she had said before: "Sister, your hands are so beautiful." Wang Yingli couldn't stop crying anymore.  live.  I wanted to reach out and wipe his tears, but found that I couldn't reach him.  So she leaned against my hand and asked me to wipe away her tears.  I touched her red lips and said, "Sister, don't cry. It won't look good if you cry." For some reason, Wang Yingli suddenly rushed over, kissed me on the lips, and stuck out her tongue.  When she came into my mouth, I licked her tender tongue and swallowed the sweet fluid in her mouth. It felt wonderful.  The sweetest thing in the world must be the lips of a beautiful woman.
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