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This is what I heard Chapter 28: What did you think when you were around twenty years old?

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    Friday, April 15, 2016.  Cloudy and occasionally rainy.  There is no personal difference between today and yesterday, no difference, no distinction.  There was a gray drizzle in the sky, and she walked over and said: "A person has walked so far and the twists and turns are all because he insisted on walking. The endless pressure is the source of endless motivation, because there is no greater  Unsatisfactory, so the unsatisfactory now pave the way for future happiness! If you want to become a butterfly, you need the courage to break out of the cocoon. If you want to be a reborn phoenix, you need the courage to reach nirvana. You need to be strong. Even if you feel sorry for yourself, don't beg.  "Pity, what comes to you is cheap, what you pick up is cheap." But she didn't do it five years later. She said it. She didn't say it casually at the moment. She thought it was okay at the time, but at the age of twenty.  What can be proved?  She once dreamed back to the ancient times, quietly immersed in the music, recalling the peaceful dreamland, and her eyes were filled with elegance.  Outside the window, there is already a bustling scene, with a tree trunk swaying gently in the wind, with a softness that has not withstood the wind and rain.  A smile gently appeared on the corner of his mouth.  I closed my eyes and my mind was filled with a new world.  Last night I looked at the bright moon in the sky and couldn't fall asleep for a long time.  The gentle evening breeze passed through the screen window of the balcony, and I drifted off to sleep amid endless reveries and random thoughts.  In the dream, cherry blossoms decorate the paths south of the Yangtze River. The gentle footsteps blown by the south wind move on the bluestone road. The curling smoke from the kitchen brings a warm and lonely flavor among the blue bricks and tiles.  The first morning light to bloom on the black temples has a soft and delicate shimmer.  Beside the small bridge, surrounded by vast white water, there is an occasional awning boat holding an oil-paper umbrella with a pair of plain hands as white as jade.  With gentle eyes, when he saw the emperor standing at the entrance of the alley dressed incognito for a private visit, he bloomed with a budding smile.  Leave a bright and gazing gaze.  Unexpectedly, a group of officers and soldiers came on horseback and whipped their whips. On the way, they met a fisherman disguised as a Ming Dynasty official. The officers and soldiers asked where Tianzi Mountain was, and the fisherman pointed to the Immortal Bridge filled with smoke.  There is an inn in Xianren Bridge that is overcrowded.  The inn held a talent competition in full swing, and I won the first prize because I held a potted plant gifted by the emperor.  ?Then the emperor appeared in Shanhua Romance.  The azaleas all over the mountains and plains are like clusters of flames, burning wildly in the field of vision.  As far as the eye can see, there are paddy fields, cattle, chickens and dogs.  The river mirror reflects the blue sky and white clouds.  Cattle gnawed grass on the field ridges; chickens foraged in the grass; dogs roamed the farmyards.  Many old events from the past came to mind one by one, and many strange phenomena that had never been experienced swarmed in.  The emergence of strange phenomena is due to the awe and fear accumulated deep in my heart in the process of thinking but not being able to do so.  The wind is blowing.  The moon is smiling, and the stars are peeking into my dream.  What I am like when I am dreaming, only the wind knows, only the moon is clear, and only the stars can understand.  Nothing should be too simple, and nothing should be too complicated.  Appropriateness is a state.  Throughout their lives, there may not be many people who can do this in real life.  Therefore, dreams have become my second home in life.  In my second hometown.  I blur all vision and block all hearing.  I use my feelings to touch the dream world, and I use my thoughts to devour everything outside me.  Being in such a dreamland is as gentle as poetry and as blurry as a dream.  In drunken dreams, addiction is drunkenness, and longing is also drunkenness.  In dreams, you can find the long-lost freedom and ease.  Can experience a kind of romantic sweetness and feel a kind of warm possession.  Dreams can be gentle, dreams can be crazy, sleep quietly outside the world of mortals.  In the shadows of butterflies and flying flowers swaying in the dream of Zhuxi, there is no trouble in the world, no need to taste the heat and coolness of the world.  Beautiful dreams, like beautiful poems, often appear at the least expected moment.  Time has destroyed the innocence of looking up at the sky, and the childish coat has faded away in the laughter and joy.  The smoke still casts a warm yellow light, and people singing and dancing upstairs are like colorful clothes from another life. It is said that when a woman dreams of the emperor, it means that her life will be happy and sweet, and there will also be noble people to help her. Her dream will one day come true, so I thank you Lord.  Well, may this hope become a reality, and hope behind the arrogance that we can also find the truth of returning to nature.  The above are her reflections when she was young, written notes, mood life, classical Qing Dynasty, ancient time travel, and dreams.  In 2012, she came to Shanghai with great ambitions, and the magic city showed unparalleled eccentricity. From the first day to now, it has never been calm, and time has never stopped for her. A carefree smile occasionally envelopes her.  In the haze, an innocent heart will occasionally become dusty.  All the experiences were like a dream, recalling it as if it were a lifetime ago, accompanied by pain and indifference. How she wished there was a corner to store her joys, sorrows, sorrows, and joys. She wished there was a wall that could carry her thousands of turns.  I wish I had a pair of eyes that could penetrate her forced smile.  When life reaches the point where it becomes boring or even tasteless, then what is the point of continuing to stay?  What's more, the truth of boiling frogs in warm water is eternal. People's laziness is often controlled by "I really don't understand myself like this" for a long time. Life is so tiring. Everyone is hypocritical. What about yourself?  Covering up everything with a smile every day, thinking about other people's thoughts every time you say a word, always thinking nonsense, always suppressing yourself with silence, every smile is so fake.  What is this kind of life for?  Just hope to be happy.  But they often do not follow what others want, and often tell themselves that they will always be content with what they have!  I often tell myself that life is full of hardships, so be happy every day!  But I can't always do it. Everyone has different emotions every day, and I am no exception.  Sometimes she feels that she knows herself very well, but in fact she doesn¡¯t know herself at all. She doesn¡¯t know what she wants, and she can¡¯t control her own heart. She is out of control and has inconsistent thoughts. She has always hated hypocritical people, and now she is extremely hypocritical.  , so I hate myself very much now.  I don¡¯t know why I am angry, why I have changed so much, but I accidentally looked through the diary she wrote before, and suddenly I feel so innocent, funny and emotional. Maybe I can¡¯t bear to read it, because I have grown up.  This mixed feeling is the legendary growth. I don¡¯t want to live in the scenery, I just want to die in the scenery.  No ambition, not eating all day long, even a cup of coffee is not enough, rainy days, cloudy days, reading text days, reading children's diaries, discovering the thoughts of a young girl, what is the difference between the thoughts of a young girl and me when I was young?  I am here, you are there, you are eating, I am hungry, you are lounging, I see through.
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