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Volume 1 Chapter 1 A Pirated Disk

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    That day, I was walking on the street without provoking anyone (why do I use the same words?), and an old guy with mud-stained face suddenly jumped in front of me and shouted: "Do you want a game?" He put his hands in the  It was in the pocket of my dirty coat, but I knew that his arms must be filled with the expectations of an otaku, just like children looking forward to Santa Claus.  Life is like a CD, you never know whether the next one is coded or not, and that is why you are full of expectations.  To be honest, this is the first time I have encountered a seller.  I am a very simple person, and my face turned red at that time, and I sternly rebuked the wretched old man: "Do you know what I do? An Internet writer, or to be more serious, an Internet writer, do you understand?"  The old man nodded calmly: "I know, it's just that your business buys more." Me: "" As an Internet writer, I suffer from piracy, so in my mind, if you don't watch piracy, small movies are free.  Yes, how can I make those little Japanese understand how I feel at certain times?  But pirated disks are a product of our country, the crystallization of the wisdom of the working people, and they can add to our country's GDP at no cost. What a great thing at this time.  So I looked at the old man critically: "Do you have any Japanese here?" "Well" The old man hesitated, "Now we are all European and American, and the Japanese are not worth mentioning. Think about it, they used  There are so many tools, but Teacher Cang is still a virgin. What¡¯s the point of this thing? The most tragic thing in the world is not that you marry a wife who is not a virgin, but that you marry a wife and she will always be a virgin. ¡± Me:  "" Actually, I want Japan from a very simple perspective. In today's anti-Japanese TV dramas, the Japanese can only speak two Japanese words: "Hi" and "Baga". The real Japan  The essence of culture is hidden deep in the hidden folder of every otaku. It is not easy to learn it.  The old man looked at my firm eyes, thought about it, and said to me: "There is a Japanese one, but the price is a bit expensive." He took out a CD from his arms as he spoke, and his wretched old face exuded the image of the Holy Mother.  General brilliance: "No one wants it anyway, so I'll give you a discount, two and a half yuan." I lowered my head and glanced at the CD. On it was a beautiful woman with long hair, and a string of Japanese words like this and that were written next to it.  , I just can¡¯t understand it anyway.  Two and a half dollars. As long as two and a half dollars, you can complete a cultural invasion and make those Japanese actresses who "sacrifice themselves for the country" sacrifice in vain. Is there anything more cost-effective?  With lofty moral sentiments, I bought this CD and felt that my whole soul had been sublimated again. I also knew that tonight, I would lose some essence in my body.  But it doesn¡¯t matter. A great man once said that you can have enough food and clothing by yourself.  Watching a movie with a handkerchief is like typing, both are laboring with one's own hands. The difference is that the former obtains physical pleasure and psychological guilt, while the latter obtains physical fatigue and psychological guilt.  Just decadent.  As a man, there are always a few days every month when you either have sex or need sex, and it is good for you to vent appropriately.  "Wait a minute." When the old man saw that I bought this CD, he turned around and was about to leave. He quickly grabbed me and looked me up and down. "You bought this CD from me. We paid for it one hand and one hand for the other."  Delivery, from now on, this disc belongs to you." "Aren't you talking nonsense? I spent money, okay?" Customers are God. I have always had the consciousness to be God, but unfortunately there are many now.  The store treats customers as Jade Emperors and wants to make us miserable by shouting, "Go and invite Tathagata Buddha!"  "That's good. My name is Liu Laoqi. This CD is an ancestral inheritance from our family. It was passed down from my brother Liu Laoliu. Now it finally has a new owner. I'm finally relieved." Liu Laoqi said with a look on his face.  He spoke sternly, but for some reason, I always felt that there was a sense of obscenity and conspiracy in his eyes, just like the dirt on his face. Although it had nothing to do with me, it just felt like an eyesore.  I ignored him and quickly turned around and left.  It is necessary to introduce myself here. My name is Zeng Qiang, I am an online writer, and my scientific name is Pujie.  Influenced by many factors when I was a child, I became an artistic youth, but unfortunately I was admitted to a science school, and the subject we studied was invertebrate linguistics.  You can imagine how painful it must have been for a young literary and artistic student in a science class. I corrected my classmates again and again, telling them that that was Turgenev, not the Negg Butcher; Ostrovsky and Altman had not done anything.  Basically, Mark Twain and Mahler's Gobi have nothing to do with each other, but what they often get back is: "What's the use of knowing these things?" This is the tragedy of literature. When others say that you know these things, it's of no use to you.  I definitely don¡¯t want to admit it, but you will gradually find thatIn addition to disgusting others, these things can only disgust yourself. They really serve no purpose.  My classmate hit the right note and vividly told me how the truth and famous quotes came from.  I am a literary young man, walking at the crossroads of life, and I don¡¯t want to gradually become an ordinary young man. So, what will I become Literature now has become a bikini. I always think that I am containing something.  What does it imply? Little do they know that it only represents temptation, attracting a large number of people to go down this path. But in the end, both literature itself and those who pursue literature find that what they love is not bikinis, but just the content contained in them.  s things.  Fortunately, at this time, online literature appeared, which saved a large number of young people who were about to be buried for literature, and I was one of them.  According to the routine of the Internet article, the protagonist is rescued by a beautiful woman when he is about to die. He must accept this beauty. Thanks to the grace of the Internet article for saving his life, I wholeheartedly committed myself to him.  From then on, when I walked out, I could loudly show off in front of others: "Brother, I am engaged in literature." But unfortunately, I did not understand that the meaning of "engage" is to mess around.  You married a wife and you just held hands with her. How could she achieve results?  Poor me, I'm still innocently stuck in the stage of holding hands, and I don't understand yet how to do it.  I was afraid that I would be too impatient and rape the online article. When I turned around, I found that the online article had been taken over by the masters, so I could only rush to the street again and again.  Fortunately, I am not a full-time writer. I still have a job, working in a pet store. Although the salary is not high, fortunately, the people who come to buy pets are all rich people, and I can meet one or two beautiful girls from time to time.  , regarded as a kind of benefit.  My salary is enough to sustain me and I am not hungry enough. When I have nothing to do, I can buy some snacks for a change.  The day I bought the CD from Liu Laoqi, I bought two roasted sweet potatoes on the roadside. This stuff actually didn't taste very good. I even had nausea and diarrhea after eating it, but it was just like instant noodles.  It has a strong fragrance that attracts people to buy it.  On that stormy night with lightning and thunder, I put the CD into the DVD player with a pious heart.  Then he held his stomach and rushed towards the toilet.  I tend to have diarrhea when I eat sweet potatoes, but this does not prevent me from watching the pictures on TV. However, when I was sitting on the toilet and facing the TV in the living room, I cursed in my heart: "You are cheating.  I¡¯ve even taken off my pants, and you¡¯re just going to show me this?¡± Damn it, Liu Laoqi, what he sold me was a DVD of The Ring.  My attitude towards horror movies is like seeing a pile of dog poop on the roadside. Although I'm not scared, I don't feel the need to dig up a piece and put it in my mouth to show my boldness.  Just when I was about to stand up with my pants on and turn off the TV, suddenly a bolt of lightning struck my TV. Then, I saw a woman with long hair slowly coming out of my TV screen.  Climbed out.  "Holy shit!" I reached out and wanted to grab the toilet paper next to me and clean myself up quickly, but sadly I found that the toilet paper had been used up.  I just watched Sadako crawl towards me little by little.  The feeling of waiting for death is uncomfortable, especially when Sadako crawled toward me at a snail's speed. I wanted to shout: "Climb faster!" But to my surprise, Sadako climbed to it.  When he was at the door of the bathroom, he suddenly covered his nose.  I was running thin today and this stench saved me.  This is probably another external victory after the Anti-Japanese War, and it can be regarded as a promotion of our country's prestige.  I don¡¯t know why Sadako, as a ghost, is still afraid of smells, but the poop in the toilet saved me like online literature.  Although I also find it smelly, I am not willing to wash it away.  Ghosts are afraid of the smell and dare not come in. I am afraid of death but can endure the smell. This incident profoundly tells us why humans are the spirit of all things, because humans are shameless enough.  We were confronting each other like this, during which I tried to communicate with her using a lot of Japanese I learned from Japanese movies - of course, I didn't say "missing", because I knew that would have the opposite effect - but to no avail.  Until the morning of the next day, my cell phone rang in the living room, "Grandpa, that girl called again." I knew that this was a call from our boss. If I don't go to work, today I will  Bad luck.  Which is more important, life or work? Without life, there is nothing; without work, there is only life, and you will continue to experience the pain that follows, and in the end even life is gone.  Sadako had already stood up and was wandering around the living room. In the end, she probably couldn't stand the noise of her cell phone anymore, so she picked up the phone, pinched her nose and handed it to me.
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