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Volume 1 text ¡¾017¡¿Just like Shu Qi

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    That night, when we learned about Roger's dream, I finally understood why a thirty-three-year-old uncle got so drunk that he went crazy over an online novel.  The reason Roger is still alive is entirely supported by his dream for the rest of his life.  He cannot see the ambiguities about dreams. He is also past the age of YY. He does not believe that a person can get cheats and dominate the world without doing anything. He may regard himself as Buting who is always running. He is even more  Willing to sweat and fight for his son and his dreams, rather than pin his dreams on a cheat that will never exist.  On this night, what Roger once said echoed in my ears repeatedly: "Do something, you have to do something. Brother, do something. I will do it for you in the online literary world for more than eight years."  Something" I have never tried to write a book with full expectations from my friends.  I haven¡¯t even tried to figure out what I can do for this circle.  Today, I suddenly wanted to try it.  Being in this special city has further deepened my determination to give it a try.  The city of Chengdu has a very special meaning to me.  My first online novel was completed in this city. At that stage, I had all kinds of shortcomings, but I still had the passion that I gradually lost in the days to come.  Sometimes I have a little superstition. For example, when I was 24 years old, I wore red underwear for a whole year. I remember that an underage girl gave me a dozen red underwear that year.  This night I was a little superstitious and thought that Chengdu might really be my blessed place. I just got up and coded just with the idea of ??giving it a try. Unexpectedly, my passion suddenly rekindled, as if I had returned to the time I had just eight and a half years ago.  Enter that stage of the online literary world.  Thinking carefully about it, there was nothing good at that stage. There was enthusiasm but no speed, so all the enthusiasm was exhausted in the years of coding like a tractor.  The reason why I miss that stage is probably because many years later I no longer even have that enthusiasm.  A few months ago, I took a serious look at my mental state, and for a time I wanted to stop writing.  At that time, I had just given up smoking. I had given up my physical addiction but had not yet given up my psychological addiction. As soon as I wrote a word, I subconsciously wanted to smoke. Then I felt so panicked and restless that I couldn't write a word.  This situation lasted for two months and has not improved. At that time, I had not finished writing a book that I had not wanted to write for a long time. Two leaders emerged from that lackluster book. This group of people made me feel warm.  , during my period of suffering, there was still a group of people who had no intersection with my life who supported me in the best way they could. In order to give them an explanation, I plan to finish the book.  Those days passed very slowly and very hard. Every day I had to face family matters that made me collapse, and psychological counseling that made me more confused the more treatment I received.  Under such circumstances, I really wanted to persevere.  I bought a whole box of lollipops and put them in a small dark room. After eating them, my lips became dry, my gums became inflamed, and pimple-like particles appeared on my tongue. I finally managed to resist the urge to smoke.  In this environment, I wrote two hundred words every day, and at the speed of writing three thousand words in half a month, I finally finished the book. The ending of the book expressed my inner sorrow and frustration. At the end of the chapter  I chose this title - The Finale of Rub Your Sister.  The day I finished writing that book, I swore that I would never write another fucking book in my life!  ¡°Today I realized that writing and I are more like a couple, always arguing at the head of the bed and at the end of the bed.  I've been on and off with it several times, each time with various reasons and stories.  The first time I gave up coding was in 2007. During that period, my life was very active and hard-working. I felt that I had to go to work, fall in love, and integrate into society. These things cannot be delayed.  A year later, around the spring of 2008 and the beginning of summer, I met an old acquaintance in the coding industry.  I haven¡¯t seen him for a few years, but he has been upgraded from a street writer to a popular writer, and it is inevitable that he will show off in front of me. ????????????????????? I don¡¯t like others to show their domineering attitude in front of me, so I am often more ruthless than the other person in this situation. I said to him at that time: Wan Ding is nothing, if you have the ability, just get Wan Ding and then let the eunuch lose him!  He thought I was joking, but he was wrong.  That day I put on a vest and came out again. It took me a year to complete the feat of being a eunuch.  After I became the eunuch, I realized that this was a bit too impulsive.  Impulsive people will always be punished for impulsiveness.  The next few years of my street career were probably God¡¯s punishment for me.  Looking back afterward, I can only sigh with emotion: Hot-blooded, young people are so hot-blooded.  It¡¯s particularly ironic to say,During that impulsive period, my son was born and I had to calm down and think about what I could do for him.  I had an unlucky childhood. I was left to my grandmother after weaning at the age of one. I could never remember what my parents looked like until I was eight years old.  I didn¡¯t want my son to experience such a childhood, so I didn¡¯t leave home more than 20 miles for the next four years.  ¡°Maybe I did this too deliberately, which made me too depressed later on.  At that time, I thought I was very great, so I gave up the thought of wandering and job opportunities far away.  My child's mother and I decided to start our own small business. After starting the business, I returned to my old job of coding. At that time, my idea was very ideal. If everything went well, I would stop working part-time and become a full-time writer.  Facts have proved that if an old eunuch wants to rejuvenate, it will definitely not be so smooth.  The results of subsequent works were dismal, and many supernatural events occurred.  For example, when I have no inspiration, the business in the store is often very slow, but when I find inspiration, the business is often very busy, and I am as tired as a dead dog.  I have had the painful experience of having my creative ideas forcibly interrupted many times. The process was like someone knocking on the door in the middle of sex.  When I was about to give up on this line of work, another writer friend of mine, Xiao Cong, gave me new inspiration. ?? Xiao Cong is extremely talented. When she debuted, her first book became a hit. She originally had a promising future, but accidentally fell into the wrong camp and experienced a low point in her life.  Later, he learned from the painful experience and put on his vest to transform. From a young age, he successfully transformed into a writer of official articles and wrote millions of words without any pressure.  This guy is a low-key person. He orders everything secretly and counts the money secretly. He is so secretive that I didn¡¯t even know it was his vest at first.  After the truth came out, I felt that he was an inspirational brother to me.  I asked him for advice, and he said: "Isn't your previous book pretty good? Just follow the same example." I told my troubles. First of all, I don't like to repeat similar themes. Secondly, I don't like others to be completely ignorant.  Xinyi always said that I was lascivious.  I wrote a book with great care, to the point where I considered each sentence more than a dozen times, but everyone felt that the book was not obscene enough and they all scolded me.  In response, Xiao Cong said: "How can everything go as planned? Who told you to be so lewd from the beginning?" I said: "I just want to prove that in addition to writing this kind of subject, I can also think about that kind of subject." He  Said: "Who needs you to prove it? What others want to see is a fixed theme, and you have been labeled." I said: "I feel uncomfortable if I keep being so slutty, and I won't be able to do a good job for my son in the future.  "A role model." He said: "You should seize the time to be slutty before your son grows up, and then you can write something positive when it becomes popular. Many big names have made Category III movies before they became popular.  It¡¯s like Shu Qi.¡± That day, four words were swirling in my mind: Just like Shu Qi.  That night, I couldn't sleep. I felt that my writing career was too bumpy. At the beginning, I had to show off my skills to stand out. After going through hardships, I could wrap up my coat and write "If You Are the One".  During that time, I often used Shu Qi to motivate myself.  Regrettably, many people¡¯s success cannot be replicated, and Xiao Cong¡¯s transformation case is not suitable for me.  My transformation ended in failure, and the subsequent works were very deformed.  Whenever a critical moment comes, I always resist this kind of change. This kind of resistance is extremely strong. I often think angrily that if I have to change like that, I would rather stop writing.  Later, I felt that I was finished and fell into the quagmire of wanting to be a bitch and wanting to build a memorial arch.  It wasn¡¯t until I talked to Roger on the phone that day that I realized that what I really resisted was that kind of YY and that kind of model.  It was also that day that I realized, how can someone like me, who doesn¡¯t want to live in a routine, force myself to write such a routine?  There are too many external factors that affect our lives and even our destiny.  We can always find various reasons to force ourselves to change, such as natural selection, survival of the fittest, and survival of the fittest, although sometimes, this kind of change causes us to lose the purest and most authentic things.  Later I realized that the most true thing in my heart cannot be thrown away no matter what.  We cannot ignore these factors most of the time. Only in some short moments, such as when we are drunk, taking drugs or half awake and half dreaming, can we ignore everything and escape from the world. At those moments, we often have the feeling of finding our true self.  a feeling of.  This night, I seemed to have found my true self and wrote an opening in a very short time.  This kind of opening is destined to be a subject with a small audience. What is even more sad is that because the length of this subject is often very short, even if you have worked hard to read the whole book, others will think it isIt¡¯s unfinished. This kind of subject matter cannot gain a foothold in this online literature world where it often starts with a few hundred words.  ¡°But, I really want to write it out.  I have a quirk. The more difficult the conditions are, the less willing I am to give up.  Seven years ago I put a lot of thought into writing a 100,000-word book called The Gray Crowd. No website was willing to sign a novel with only 100,000 words. Everyone felt that it was not an online novel and that it was not even enough.  The number of words in the public version is only one, so that book has never had the opportunity to be openly exposed to the world.  I didn¡¯t expect that seven years later I would have to do the same thing again. The book I was about to write might be more than 100,000 words, but it wouldn¡¯t be much more.  Looking back on when I was writing about gray people, the process was very joyful. No matter whether others were happy or not, I was happy anyway.  This time, I think after time accumulation, I should be able to get double the joy.  I can imagine what it will be like when this book is written. I can even guess that on the day I upload it, there will definitely be some high-level hackers pretending to be my fans who will predict whether this book can exceed 300,000 words.  I think that if that day comes, I just need to say "Thirty, you motherfucker" silently in my heart, and then write my book calmly and calmly.  Roger is right when he says that I have a book in my heart and I should write it out.  Once there is a beginning, there will be a sequel.  What I am pursuing this time may be a tragedy or a miracle.  I don¡¯t know what will happen next, so I want to know what will happen next.  ¡¤
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