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Text of Volume 1 ¡¾091¡¿If it were back then

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    "I noticed you were a little distracted. What's going on?" After dinner, on the way to the parking lot, Mr. Lin started gossiping again.  I said: "I don't know, I've been distracted lately." Mr. Lin: "Are you still thinking about the second spring yesterday? By the way, what did that old lover say to you?" I have nothing to say.  Many songs suddenly floated in my mind.  Women are like songs. When I hear different songs at different times, I will reflect on the relationship between Eve and me.  At first I thought, it must be love. It hurts just like the song: It turns out that love hurts so much and is harder than imagined Later I thought, it must not be love. Love doesn¡¯t hurt that much, just like the song.  As the song sings: Because of love, you won¡¯t be sad easily In the end, I thought, none of these song writers are fucking reliable.  ¡°I once thought I couldn¡¯t survive, but after so many years, I found that I was still alive and kicking.  Yesterday, on the evening of April 11, 2013, Eve and I met again.  I have thought about various scenarios of meeting her again, but I never thought of this one.  I also thought about my state when I met her again. I might scold her, I might beat her, I might turn away, I might ignore it all, but the final situation was different from what I imagined.  When I saw her, I felt surprisingly calm, just like meeting a friend from a certain period. What sounded in my mind was an old song by Pu Shu: Those old times, those loves, those friends who are getting older Mr. Lin  He gave us fifteen minutes with Da Ben Uredun.  ¡°Eve and I are in a two-person world, doing things that are not in the two-person world.  I remember the day I left, I felt a great sadness in my heart. What was great was that I felt that my leaving would be helpful to her acting career. What was tragic was that if I didn¡¯t leave, why would I stay?  Later, the incident of Brother Guanxi shocked the whole country, which gave me a lot of inspiration. I found that only black fungus who are desperate can rely on negative news to increase their exposure. Real big stars will not become famous because of negative news, but will cause big trouble.  .  For example, Brother Guanxi, who was once a popular niche student, completely fell to his knees after going through a certain sect.  For example, Gillian was a first-tier actress back then, but after her comeback she was considered a second-tier or third-tier actress at best.  For example, Cecilia Chi was considered a queen-level figure back then, but now she is half dead.  I ended up not covering Eve¡¯s news.  The day I left, I thought, if Eve becomes a big star in the future, she will thank me for this.  It was very different from what I imagined. In the end, she did not become a big star, or even a star.  After leaving Eve, I went to a distant place. The news about her came from reminiscing with Brother Ma. Later, I heard Brother Ma say that the most important role in her life was that of the third female lead. She never had the chance to become the heroine.  After that she stopped acting for unknown reasons.  There was a time when I was gloating over misfortunes, and there was a time when I was lamenting.  ¡°And when I saw her today, I felt that not only women are a song, but life is also a song.  When we met, we just looked at each other in silence.  After a long time, she showed her lady-first aura and said: "You have changed so much." I said: "You too." She said: "I never saw you again after I went back that year. You went  Where?" I said: "We went to the place where we should go." She said, "Do you still hate me?" I said, "You think too much." She said, "Yes, you used to think too much.  Now it's my turn. It takes a lot of perseverance to hate someone. Do you even bother to hate me?" I said, "Let's talk about something else." She changed her sitting position, holding her chin in her hands, her lips together.  It is slightly tilted within the appropriate scale, and it looks a little innocent that I feel pity for.  Back then, I would have felt pity for this posture. Sometimes she could defeat me with just some small movements without speaking. But today, seeing this scene, I found that I wanted to laugh for no reason.  I thought of a sentence I often teach my son recently, that you must be polite, but in the end I didn¡¯t laugh.  Sure enough, whatever came to mind, she asked: "I heard that you even have a son?" I nodded.  She gave a bitter smile, and her voice was even bitterer than her smile: "It's not like you. In the past, you would have asked 'Who told you?', but you didn't ask that today, so I can't even find the most basic topic. You  You didn¡¯t plan to have a good talk with me from the beginning, did you?¡± I asked, ¡°What do you want to talk about?¡± She said, ¡°Since you¡¯re like this, there¡¯s nothing left to talk about, so I¡¯ll leave after just a few words.¡±    I said: "Okay, you tell me." She said: "I have never forgotten you in these years, and there is something I always wanted to say to you." I didn't say anything, but I remembered what Mr. Lin had said before,  Thinking of an artistic female anchor who has been pregnant with her ex-boyfriend for many years, it gave me an inexplicable sense of accomplishment and I wanted to express my feelings to the moon.  ?Obviously, this sense of accomplishment shows that I am too naive.  She looked at me, her eyes sharper than before, which made me understand that she was no longer an ideal young woman, but a career-oriented older woman.  As if she were looking at an enemy, she said word by word: "I have always wanted to tell you that you have done me a terrible job. If you had reported my story back then, I would have become famous a long time ago." ¡¤
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